Taking in the Waves

Here I am again trying to figure out what to write on this blog, but not knowing exactly what to say.  I'm coming into my fifth month here in the Philippines and there's a lot I could talk about but mostly I don't know how to put things into a good perspective.   Roller coaster is a really good analogy, but that's the easy one that volunteers like to use

an emotional roller coaster that probably won't stop for awhile. 

Well I've definitely felt that, but I like to think of my emotion more like waves on a shore.... Things are kind of repetitive right now, my emotions going back and forth, not changing too drastically.   I think I'm doing fine and then all of sudden BAM!
it hits,
me a storm...

Frustration levels rise within me from everyone staring at me or that I can only understand every 20th word that people say or the question 'Why are you here, are you a missionary?'

Sadness fills my heart when I see incapacitated dogs and cats with half their fur missing or children out of school in the fields, parents attending family development sessions trying to provide for their family in the poorest of poor circumstances.


But then a complete stranger gives me merienda (snack) even though they might not have something to eat themselves or a young child stares at me then smiles and calls me maganda (beautiful) or I do an energizer in a session and everyone immediately brightens and I do too!

I'm here, this is what I wanted right? Right? Can't complain too much I mean if it seems like waves then I guess that's not so bad.