Wait... What?

Good question....

So when I decided to join the Peace Corps maybe I had this unrealistic romantic idea of, ya know, CHANGING THE WORLD!  And I do know that is unrealistic, but the bottom line is I wanted to try and help make a difference, even if it's just a smidgen. This whole experience so far has been just that, so far from what I had imagined.... I didn't know what to expect when leaving home four months ago exactly from yesterday, but I did think I would be doing a bit more right now. 


Let me explain.  This is the organization I am assigned in:

Get ready for the explosion of acronyms

I currently am assisting in the implementation of the Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program(4P's) under the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD).  It's a Conditional Cash Transfer Program here in the Philippines that is in its third year, lasting for a period of 5 years (2011 - 2015).

Similar to the welfare program in the states, but with conditions.... Take note America!

Description of the program:

• poverty reduction strategy providing cash grants to poor households with pregnant women and children 0-14 years old, with compliance of specific health, nutrition, and education conditions

• promotes and supports the Philippine Commitment to the UN Millennium Development Goals (MDG) and Convention of the Rights of the Child (CRC) through provision of health, education and other services as basic rights of children 

Another program that I could possibly assist with the implementation of is the KALAHI-CIDSS (I don't know what this stands for), which aims to improve the responsiveness of local governments to community needs; encourage communities to engage in development activities, and deliver benefits to barangay (town) residents through individual sub-projects. 
So far what I've seen is that the program helps develop ideas for community projects.

They're great programs and part of the Millennium Challenge between the US and the Philippines.  The basic goal is to reduce poverty through economic growth in the Philippines.


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<SO here's the bottom line>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I say assisting in the implementation, I really mean I have no clue what I am suppose to be doing yet! It all sounds great and everyone I work with is so hard working.  But where do I fit it? I'm trucking along trying to figure that out.  These most recent weeks the shine of newness has worn off a little and the reality of uncertainty is hitting me pretty hard.  And of course, with me being a natural 'worry too much' kind of a person, this situation has only escalated my waves of emotion sometimes.

Wish me luck, send me some positive energy. Cause my positiveness is starting to be tested for the first time in the Peace Corps and I think it shalt not be the last.

Peace!